something productive.

Today I want to do something productive. I want to run, I want to paint, I want to finish my Harry Potter movies. I also want to make sweet and sour chicken for dinner. That sounds like a pretty good day. I've been in a really crappy mood for a while now and I need to break it.

frustration.

So I'm sitting here home alone after I accidently fell asleep watching the Goblet of Fire. My night was supposed to be Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix, and maybe do something artsy. Well I woke up in a horrible mood so now I'm not doing any of that. I'm really in a horrible mood.

Reasons why: (in no special order)
1. My husband is in FUCKING IRAQ!!!!!!! dammit.
2. Try as I might, I am having NO luck finding a job. This means, no extra income to save, no money to buy Matt cool "welcome home!" presents, no money to buy my fucking camera I have been waiting for years for. (which ultimately determines whether or not i ever study photography... ever)
3. Secret.
4. The a/c doesn't work in my house.
5. I want to study something REALLY interesting, but thanks to the army I will never be anywhere (in the next 3 1/2 years) where there is a 'cool' art school, or even a school that might offer 'cool' art classes. Art as in Film, Web/Graphic Design, Photography (as mentioned earlier.) I am forced to find school online... which I have found a great online school where I can get an IT degree.. but that is not art. I have also found the Art Institutes have an online division which would be awesome if the Art Institutes didn't cost a fucking arm and a leg. A part of me just says "Hey Bailey, you only live once... just do it!" and the other part of me says "Stick with the cheap one that you can actually make a lot of money with"
6. My husband is in Iraq... I just want him home. Now. Now now now. I find myself more sad and miserable as time progresses. There are only 82 days left, but this is taking the longest part of the whole year.

I feel better now.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Sometimes I need to know when to keep my damn mouth shut... to think before I speak.


Oh the joys of growing up.

abfszcvhkmd.,

blurb.

So have decided to pick back up on the Goblet of Fire now that school is finally winding down and I am almost finished. I'm torn because I have just acquired a copy of The Hobbit, and I realllly want to read it, but I want to finally finished this series I've been reading them on and off for years. But I don't want to read them at the same time. I want to enjoy each book I read for what it is, by itself. 

I am supposed to be heading back up to NY in 16 days and counting. Half of me is very excited, and the other half is really nervous. When I think of moving back "home" I think of Matt, he is what I picture in my head. Matt unfortunately won't be there for a few more months. My plan is to find a job immediately, pursue some photography (as a hobby), work out, and of course have a few drinks. I also am debating whether or not I will start school again, since Matt WILL be coming back in less than 6 months (4 -by that time- to be exact) I will have to bust my ass to finish up the term so we can go on our month long vacation/adventure.

I watched Sex and the City the move for the first time the other day. I can't say it was bad. 

Oh as I said before, my first semester of college is finally coming to an end. All I need is to make it through 2 finals and I am DONE! Yay for me! I really dislike school. 

I'm going to finish this post with the following things I cannot wait for:

158 days.

And then Matt will be home. 

I found out today he is coming home in September, not October. I am SOOOO excited. It's almost a whole month shed from his deployment. About 30 days and I'm heading up to NY again, for some reason, I can't wait for that either. 

Then it's off to Europe!! 

This deployment has taught me a lot about relationships, I hope everything I've learned sticks with me when he comes home. 

i'm sick.

i'm really sick. i hate hospitals and i hate medicine. (i guess that's my childish side shining through) i also hate doctors that don't know what they are talking about.  

thank god for moms, mines been taking care of me the whole time..

hmm...

It's only when I've been drinking that I think too much about certain things, well... not ONLY when I'm drinking, but it happens a lot when drinking occurs. Tonight I'm listening to some old music, I really like it when you're listening and the music brings you back to a certain time in your life. It makes you wish it was still happening.

 

I miss Matt and I'm proud of us for how far we have come. 

this is an OLD picture, it must have been close to 3 years ago. <3

new.

I made a new blog. Rachel told me to do it. :]